Possible Alien Invasion:

This week's collection of scary stories on the web features Stephen Hawking's warning that there may be unfriendly aliens lurking out there in the cosmos.

Let's look at the possibilities.

The nearest star outside the Solar system is variously estimated to be about four light years away. That means that if it were possible for solid objects (ETs) determined enough to come here at light speed, they would have to be in transit for more than four years. 

Since our science has established that light speed is the speed limit of the universe, interstellar travel for biological beings is unlikely if not impossible. 

So, aliens arriving here would have to be robots like our Mars probes or androids specifically designed to survive in the vacuum and radiation levels of interstellar space.

First evidence of intelligent life out there in the void would be gathered by the Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI) group, who are scanning the cosmos for coherent electromagnetic signals and, so far, not finding any.

Those signals can travel at the speed of light and until we detect them, it is correct for us to go on believing that as an intelligent species, we are pretty much alone, at least in our sector of the galaxy, and out of reach of marauders from space.

Sorry, Stephen, but unless and until we detect alien electromagnetic probes trying to monitor our environment, it ought to be okay for us to continue sleeping peacefully at night.

Problems with Stoners:

Young Trudeau's election triggered furious activity among stoners in the core of the city that elected him--Toronto.

And why not? He promised the legalization of weed when elected. Now we know the source of the rather heavy majorities he got in Toronto's city Core.

Now the stoners who jumped the gun on marijuana's availability are being shut down because it is not yet legally approved by the Liberals in Ottawa. They have to cool their jets if and until the process is done with.

Of course, it would be reckless for our politicians to jump the gun on this one. The fact that some US administrations have legalized pot is not necessarily a good example to follow. They are well aware that it might be smart to wait and see what happens to crime, traffic and survival statistics over a suitable time frame before making it legal for Canadians to indulge in this form of substance abuse.

Having sampled pot on a couple of rare occasions in my misspent youth, I am of the opinion that it can impair the ability to operate motor vehicles every bit as efficiently as Alcohol, and much quicker. The problem is, alcohol can be detected and evaluated at the traffic stop, while a cannabis high cannot.

So here's what they do. We had young neighbors whose faith forbade them to partake of alcohol, so they toked up on pot or whatever else they smoke for their jollies in the far east and topped that with one bottle of beer before staggering off on a Friday nite Rape and Pillage.

If they're stopped in traffic, the cop administers the breathalyzer and lo and behold, it comes up with only a small trace of inebriation. The cop shrugs his shoulders, turns around, and walks away.

That is probably why the cops have been raiding and shutting down all of the illegal joints that sprung up in Toronto like toadstools following a spring rain right after the election.

They should continue doing that until a foolproof roadside detection gizmo is perfected.

How Canada Elects Leaders:

My indirect participation in electing Canada's leaders happened back in the late '60s shortly after I joined the staff at Mississauga News.

Publisher Eric Watt learned the Liberals were presenting a new leader at a private do in Oakville, ON.

We drew straws and Mike Solomon, our Fleet Street-trained reporter (complete with shorthand) drew the short straw. Grabbing an office camera, a 35mm Beseler Topcon SLR with 1/1,000 sec. shutter and 1:1.4 lens, loaded with Tri-X film, Solly scooted off to the address.

There, he was lucky enough to have the camera at the ready when the leadership candidate took a dive off the high board at the private pool and Solly caught him doing a somersault, legs tucked in neatly in true Olympic form on his way down.

It was a good shot. Canadian Press immediately latched onto it and offered it to every newspaper across the whole country. It appeared in at least 40 papers and got a lot of people talking about it.

Wow! a leader who could do a somersault off a high board! Who could match that?

The Liberal spin doctors followed that up with society blurbs of the candidate dating then popular songbird Barbara Streisand, and topped that off with a date with Classical Guitar queen Leona Boyd just to make sure they had the whole social spectrum of the Canadian electorate covered.

Following a suitable pause, the clever handlers followed up with an announcement that this French Canadian candidate was courting the daughter of a prominent English Liberal from the other end of the country (BC). How convenient is that?

Since these were the days of Renee Levesque and other Quebecers who were agitating to get Quebec out of confederation and into their own clutches, this potential blending of the two solitudes looked good, too. A politically correct union was in the making.

Since those days also were the wild days of the Hippies with chaotic youth movements chasing psychedelic (chemical) highs everywhere, someone among the clever spin doctors took the first letters of the new leadership candidate's name and came up with P.E.T--PET. What can be more meaningful to the young voters who couldn't get enough of the shaggy-haired Beatles?

All of these carefully-scripted elements came together to get Pierre Elliott Trudeau elected.

The Liberal handlers were clever enough to make use of available demographics to determine the average mental age level of the electorate to secure a win.

I didn't check to see if Solly ever got over it, but since I was lucky enough to draw the long straw, I don't have to feel guilty.

Last year, they went ahead and did it again, this time courting young stoners with the promise to legalize pot. Only time will tell if that will be of any long-term advantage to Canada.